I can’t divulge details, because it’s still unofficial, but I’m moving.  Again.

Since 2009 when I graduated from college, I have moved across state lines 5 times (a total of 8 times including moves within state). On one hand, this make me a near-expert. On the other hand, I know the next couple months are going to require lots of lists, planning, and organization to execute a smooth relocation.

I’m hoping to write about the process from start to finish this time, to reflect on the process and keep things fun.

STEP 1: Deciding to move

At least one agonizing part is over – the decision. To move, or not to move?

I work for the Federal government, and we have relatively small offices in each state. In order to get the position I want next, I generally have to move to another state. This moving decision comes up every 3-5 years when I get the urge to continue growing professionally and try something new, but it’s a tough decision every time.

Past decisions to move

The decision to move to Montana felt pretty easy. I was fresh out of college, really excited to have a job offer, and ready for adventure. Knowing nothing about Montana, I readily agreed to head west and start a new life. I hit a few bumps initially, but quickly embraced the adventure and made a whole second family in my new hometown in a quick 9 months (which felt like a lifetime).

The decision to move to Utah was more difficult. I don’t remember much about it, but I remember talking through the decision with trusted advisors and ultimately going for it.

Moving from Utah was much more difficult. On one hand, I was definitely professionally ready for a move. After going through 5 annual cycles I craved something new, and started to take an interest in a slightly different career path in my agency. On the other hand, I had a very fulfilling life outside of the office that I worked very hard to cultivate. I moved to Colorado with mixed feelings – excited about a new job, but devastated to rip out the personal roots I had planted.

I spent the first year, at least, mourning the loss of my previous life, questioning my decision to move, and feeling fear about the inevitable next move that would start the cycle over again. The fatigue of perpetual motion started to take its toll. Regret is a strong word, but I was feeling something pretty close to regret with this last move.

So, why am I putting my self through this again?

Regret cuts both ways. This move is an opportunity for a truly unique adventure. Ultimately the opportunity for adventure outweighed the loss of some of my adventures here. Without a compelling reason to stay, I think I would regret turning down such an adventure more than I will regret taking it on.

The timing is right. I’m in a happy place here now, having started to establish a life, but I’m not so deep in life here that it will be devastating to start over. This job opportunity also doesn’t come up very often. It seems like the right time to strike.

There is no perfect option. I’m never going to be 100% certain of anything, and there is no such thing as a perfect choice. I can’t know every possible outcome or consequence of my decisions, nor can I know what opportunities will be available in the future. This one feels right.

How did I make the decision?

I hate making big decisions like this. I fear commitment, crave optimization, and am open-minded to a fault. I suffer from buyer’s remorse. The fact that anything is possible is always in the back of my mind. At least I recognize this in myself, and know that 100% certainty is not possible. I’m working on getting better at this, and here’s what I do:

Identify what’s important to me. This could be as simple as coming up with some general categories and stepping through thinking about each one, or as analytical as assigning weights to categories and scoring your options to come up with a final ranking. I usually fall somewhere in the middle on this type of big decision. Either way, I write it down and give it some time. Things might occur to you throughout the day or week. Record them all, then consider your lists. Going through this process may not make my decision any better or different, but it helps me feel like I considered a reasonable amount of factors and decided to accept them, for better or worse. It gives me some closure on the decision.

Gather all points of view. I asked people at work, family, friends, classmates for their reactions to the move, but only AFTER I did my initial pros and cons above. I tried to get a good sampling of opinions and reactions to help me consider all of the info. Toward the end of the process, it helped to have people encourage me to go for it. This also helped me build some support and buy-in as I reached my decision, which will certainly help in the long run when stress and doubt creep in.

Set a decision deadline. I set a deadline for myself to make the decision, and after that deadline I stop considering pros and cons, and start planning for whatever decision I made. It’s a nice way to transfer my energy from comparing to planning, giving me a productive outlet. I try to do all of my research, take the info I have, make a decision, and move on. I’m never going to know everything before making a decision. If I know I did the best I could at the time, I can accept my decision as the best one.

Final thoughts

Ambivalence makes people nervous. I’m pretty sure everyone involved in this process so far thinks I’m moving under duress because I’m not jumping up and down lighting fireworks about it. I think I need to get better at expressing enthusiasm once the decision-making process is over, but I have no regrets about taking the time I needed to make the right decision.

Up next…

Tune in next episode for the LOCATION REVEAL!!!!!